When and Why Women Lack Sexual Desires

Having sexual desire is an integral part of being a human being. It is a basic characteristic of every living person in this world; and it is something which even women are entitled to. After all, their bodies are capable of producing estrogens which are primarily responsible for the generation of sexual urges in women.

But What is Sexual Desire?

Sexual desire is basically the longing for sexual intimacy. It can be described in many ways. From holding hands to doing sexual intercourse, as long as it does give off sexual pleasure, it is considered desire. In simple words, it can be referred to as libido.

According to several studies, the sexual desire or libido of women is relatively lower compared to the desire which men emit. This is because women are more concerned about the emotions that go with the act of doing sex rather than focusing on the act itself.

When Women Lack Sexual Desires

But despite the leniency women show towards sexually related matters, the women’s lack of desires is quite a big problem. Whenever women lack sexual desires, great stress and frustration takes over and it often leads to depression and too much insecurities.

Why Women Lack Sexual Desires

According to medical professionals, the interest of women on sexual activities is due to a variety of reasons. Generally, it could either be due to physical differences or psychological problems.

Most of the time, women lack sexual desires due to the limited production of estrogens. Estrogens are basically the hormones produced by the female human body which is primarily responsible in generating one’s sexual urges. Usually, this situation may be due to the medications women take; particularly birth control pills.

There are also diseases which may trigger women to lack sexual desires. Some of it may be anaemia, diabetes, and Hyperporlactinaemi or overactive pituitary gland. More so, addictions may lead women to lose sexual interests. Drug abuse and alcoholism could definitely play a major role in the gradual decrease of interest women have on desires.

As for the psychological problems which make women lack sexual desires, the primary reasons would definitely be depression and stress. It is understandable that when a woman is under great pressure and anxiety, her attention would most likely be diverted to solving the problem rather than noticing her sexual needs. More so, it can also be considered that lose interests on sex due to failed relationships. This aspect is particular with the partner whom the woman is having sex with. When there is a problem between the couple, there is this great possibility that sexual desires and activities will be inhibited.

Psychological problems why women lack desires can also include their emotional backgrounds. Women who experienced sexual abuse during their childhood, or whatever experience which could trigger their fear towards sexual activities, are most likely to lose sexual interests compared to those who didn’t experience those kinds of abuse.

The deterring surroundings may also be classified under psychological reasons why women lack sexual desires. Culture and traditions may be two of the major reasons why women have to suppress their desires.

Identity could also play a role in why women lack sexual desires. Latent homosexuality can affect it terribly, especially if the woman concerned has a partner from the opposite sex.

The Cure for Women

Basically, the cure for women who lack sexual desires depends on the reason why desires are inhibited. There are a variety of methods to do in order to get over this sexual disorder. If the cause is from the physical aspect, medicine intakes could be suggested. If it is due to some psychological problems, therapies would most likely be the remedy.

But whatever the cure is, women who lack sexual desires will only regain their interest on sexual activities if they help themselves regain it. As said, desires are part of human nature so women should not take it for granted. If there is a problem, it should be acted upon. Otherwise, life would never be the same again.

Understanding Sexual Addiction

The desire to engage in sexual acts is a natural and normal human drive. When sexual fantasy and behavior becomes an obsession, that natural and normal drive becomes a pattern of out of control sexual behaviors that is referred to as sexual addiction. Also known as phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behaviors and fantasies. It is a serious condition that often consumes the addicts self esteem, destroys marriages and partnerships, and leaves a trail of tears and destruction in its wake.

The desire to engage in sexual acts is a natural and normal human drive. When sexual fantasy and behavior becomes an obsession, that natural and normal drive becomes a pattern of out of control sexual behaviors that is referred to as sexual addiction. Also known as sexual dependency or sexual compulsivity, sexual addiction refers to the phenomenon in which individuals report being unable to manage their sexual behaviors and fantasies. It is a serious condition that often consumes the addicts self esteem, destroys marriages and partnerships, and leaves a trail of tears and destruction in its wake.

But how does one know when his or her sexual behaviors are normal and when healthy sexuality has become an unhealthy addiction? Counselors and therapists usually employ sexual addiction questionnaires and various kinds of tests to determine objectively the probability of sexual addiction. Ultimately however, the answer and realization must come from the individual. Three basic indicators of sexual addiction are compulsivity, continuation despite consequences, and obsession. Compulsivity is the loss of the ability to choose freely whether to stop or continue a sexual behavior. Addicts risk money, marriage, family, and career in order to satisfy their sexual desires and despite these consequences, they continue indulging the sexual fantasy and seeking a sexual “fix.” The use of sex as a “fix” forms into a habit so obsessive that the addict continues despite the tremendous shame that comes from living a secret life outside of long held morals and values.

Unfortunately, individuals are often unwilling to accept that their behaviors and fantasies have crossed a line from what our culture supports as a normal and healthy libido to an all consuming preoccupation. They may persist in their denial and distorted thinking until the damage to their marriages, families, and relationships is too great to repair. Jeffrey Schultz, a counselor in the Sonoran Healing Center in Phoenix, Arizona who specializes in the treatment of compulsive sexual behaviors, recounts that a client who had nearly taken his life did not even see his abnormal sexual behaviors as issues until his relationship with family and friends were shattered. This is the sad situation for most sex addicts.

Different factors cause sexual addiction and it is more likely a build up of conditions over time. It may be early sexualization or early exposure of an individual to inappropriate sexual material or behavior or traumatic experiences during childhood such as physical and/or sexual abuse, abandonment, or emotional trauma.

The consequences of sexual addiction are serious and alarming. Since it is progressive in nature, the need for a sexual “fix” increases, and the person’s behavior becomes motivated solely by the persistent desire to experience the sexual act. The need for more intense stimulation leads into more explicit, intensity seeking and risk taking in the sexual behavior, which eventually interferes with the person’s social or marital life, deteriorating not only the life of the sexual addict but also the lives of the people around him/her. This is aside from the shame attached to the sexual addict, who could be a friend or a loved one carrying his condition in secret for the fear of rejection. So, what should be done? Understanding sexual addiction and getting help are the first steps that the sex addict and his family must take to begin the healing process. Various therapists and counselors offer professional treatment for sexual addiction with a great deal of anonymity. Professional help is highly recommended to assist the individual and loved ones to recognize and understand sexual addiction and to begin accepting responsibility for their healing. Support and encouragement from 12 step groups and a recovery community, group therapy, and even family and friends all contribute to the treatment of the sex addict and assist the healing process.