Sexual Abuse – Sibling

What is sibling sexual abuse? Like all forms of sexual abuse, sibling sexual abuse is an abuse of power. If a more powerful or stronger sibling, bribes or threatens a weaker sibling to engage in sexual activity–albeit the aggressor might be younger–it is sexual abuse. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the victim; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the victim’s expense.

“Incest is both sexual abuse and an abuse of power. It is violence that does not require force. Another is using the victim, treating them in a way that they do not want or in a way that is not appropriate by a person with whom a different relationship is required. It is abuse because it does not take into consideration the needs or wishes of the child; rather, it meets the needs of the other person at the child’s expense. If the experience has sexual meaning for another person, in lieu of a nurturing purpose for the benefit of the child, it is abuse. If it is unwanted or inappropriate for her age or the relationship, it is abuse. Incest [sexual abuse] can occur through words, sounds, or even exposure of the child to sights or acts that are sexual but do not involve her. If she is forced to see what she does not want to see, for instance, by an exhibitionist, it is abuse. If a child is forced into an experience that is sexual in content or overtone that is abuse. As long as the child is induced into sexual activity with someone who is in a position of greater power, whether that power is derived through the perpetrator’s age, size, status, or relationship, the act is abusive. A child who cannot refuse, or who believes she or he cannot refuse, is a child who has been violated.” (E. Sue Blume, Secret Survivors).

The aggressor usually reinforces the sibling trust of the targeted victim, and then violates that trust in order to commit the abuse. The aggressor may use force, the threat of force, bribery, the offer of special attention, or a gift to make the victim keep the abuse secret.

In sibling sexual abuse, the victim and the abuser are siblings, half-siblings, step-siblings or siblings by adoption. As in other forms of sexual abuse, sibling sexual abuse does not involve sexual touching. The aggressor may force two or more children to engage in sexual activity with one another. The aggressor may force the siblings to watch sexual activity or pornographic videos. The aggressor may also abuse them repeatedly watching them dress, shower or using the toilet.

As in any sexual abuse by a family member sibling sexual abuse is harmful for the following reasons:

o The victim feels pressured and trapped by the abuser. This pressure includes bribes, sexual stimulation or physical force. Self-esteem is impacted immeasurably.

o The victim feels betrayed, because someone they expect to love and care for them is harming them in the worst way possible. In addition, because children inherently believe a parent will protect them from all harm, and when they are harmed by a sibling, the victim feels betrayed twice–once by his/her sibling and by their parents. They might even believe that the parents think the abuse is acceptable–further adding to the emotional harm.

o The victim may feel responsible, bad or dirty–thus engendering feelings of guilt, shame and humiliation about their body, sexuality and personhood.

o Sibling abuse causes more damage than abuse by a stranger. This is because children are dependent for years on their families and on parents to keep them safe. Studies of convicted teenage sexual abuse offenders show that the sibling offenders commit more serious abuse over a longer period of time than other teenage offenders. This is so because the victims–brothers or sisters–are readily available, they are available for longer periods and the aggressors are protected by the enforced secrecy.

If you know or suspect that one of your children is being sexually abused by a sibling, you need to make an intervention by contact a professional who specializes in sexual abuse prevention and recovery. If you allow the abuse and secrecy to continue, because you think, ‘all children experiment sexually,’ or ‘it is just a phase, they will grow out of it,’ you are no less responsible for the outcome of the sibling sexual abuse than the sibling aggressor. Thus, the damage is on-going rather than short lived. Furthermore, by making an intervention, you are clearly and emphatically stating the behavior is unacceptable and both children are given an opportunity to heal.

The majority of sibling sexual abuse is initiated because of a trauma the aggressor has experienced–and it is generally their own sexual abuse–albeit you may be unaware.

Understanding Loss of Sexual Desire in Women

Do you know that it is now very common for a woman or a wife to experience loss of sexual desire? Do you think you also have sexual problems as you lose interest in making love and having any sexual activities with your partner? Are you hesitant or reluctant of bringing it up on the table for a professional consultation or discussion? If you have yes for your answers, you better read on and see how you can initially help yourself treat such sexual desire disorder. Today is the high time to intensify intimacy between you and your partner; make every sexual activity more exciting, appetizing and interesting-bringing back each bursting desire you two have from the very first time you had sex or made love.

Causes of Such Loss of Desire

First and foremost, if a woman feels less confident and has low self-esteem, the feeling may create more anxiety and psychological distress for the woman. Due to the insecurities, the self esteem may go downhill. The person concerned may experience sleepless nights or sudden mood swings. And so, loss of sexual desire may set in.

At this point, it can also be mentioned that whatever the experiences of the woman in the past may have a great effect on her interest in sex. For instance, if she went through a crucial past filled with sexual abuse, she is most likely to have the least interest on anything sexual for the fear of remembering the past.More so, loss of sexual desire could also be due to the medications the woman is taking. Like for instance, if the person concerned is taking birth control pills, hypoactive sexual disorder may occur because the pills deter the production of sex hormones in the body.

There may be other kinds of Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder (HSDD) or certain loss of sexual desire recorded in many scientific books but it may be summed up to only two: general and situational. Generally, this disorder refers to a case wherein the person totally lost interest in having sexual desires, formulating sexual fantasies or even doing sexual activities. Situational hypoactive sexual desire disorder, on the other hand, happens when the inflicted person does not entirely give in such loss of sexual desire or interest on the sexual matters but partly on the partner with whom he is doing sexual activities.

Well, if you think you are in a great confusion and there is no one for you to run to seek help, better deal with such first on your own. Doing a rigid and extensive research as to how you can stop such loss of sexual desire as well as intense suppress sexual desire in you, can be a great start. One thing for sure is that there is nothing wrong with you. But you have to accept that there is something you need to address to be able to give the needs of your partner as well as to satisfy him and yourself, too.

Loss of Sexual Desire Self-Help Tips: The Power to Change

• Share your sexual worries and dilemmas with your partner or husband. You can be amazed and surprised as to how your beloved partner or husband can help you increase female sexual desire in many ways he knows.

• Lack of sexual drive and such loss of sexual desire can be cured by natural and holistic treatments. Specific herbs have been known as natural aphrodisiacs that can positively promote and stimulate sex drive among adults. Smilax ornata (Sarsaparilla), Siberian Ginseng and the like are widely recognized to improve overall body system, performance, and stamina.

• Live a healthier and happier lifestyle.Nothing beats a positive outlook in life and healthy mind and body.

With all these good points, you can perfectly succeed and survive the challenges of such loss of sexual desire in you.